From: bpadjen@comcast.net [Add to Address Book]
To: Anne Levine
Subject: I Love You
Date: Jun 9, 2007 6:30 PM
Whether the galaxies behind your eyes
Or the southwestern breeze of your touch;
Whether the voice that carries your song across the skies
Or the inifnity of your presence
Your mystery is safe within
The aqueducts of my heart.
I have always known this love -
This presence I carry within me,
Without me,
With you.
--
Brian Padjen
bpadjen@comcast.net
From: Anne Levine
To: Anne Levine
Subject: from bp
Date: Jun 8, 2007 11:23 PM
Anne,
I am so grateful for you - just you - who you are.
The world spins easier with you on it.
Thank you for just being and forgive this hallmark portal
-and my mouth almighty.
I love you.
This exchange took place while Brian was home in Algonquin for a visit.
From: Brian Padjen
To: Anne Levine
Subject: Blackberry Sex
Date: Aug 26, 2007 4:03 AM
If I put two fingers in your pussy, and rub your g-spot, and lick on your pussy,
Maybe….
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
From: Brian Padjen
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject: RE: A poem
Date: Aug 26, 2007 3:59 AM
I love you, Anne!
Thank you. But I want the same for you.
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
-----Original Message-----
From: Anne Levine [mailto:anne.levine@earthlink.net]
Sent: Sunday, August 26, 2007 2:47 AM
To: Padjen, Brian
Subject: Re: A poem
Well at least I know you will sleep now.
Anne Levine
www.fightlam.org
Sent via BlackBerry from EarthLink Wireless.
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brian Padjen"
Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 02:54:09
To:
Subject: RE: A poem
Pre-cum and post-cum....
Suck it in, Anne!
I love you.
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
------Original Message------
From: Padjen, Brian
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Sent: Aug 26, 2007 3:49 AM
Subject: RE: A poem
Fuck, Anne! I'm real close to cumming.
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brian Padjen"
Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 02:45:25
To:
Subject: RE: A poem
You really want me to cum!
I want you to cum!
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brian Padjen"
Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 02:42:30
To:
Subject: RE: A poem
Wow! I want that! You're making me rub my cock.
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
From: Brian Padjen
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject: RE: A poem
Date: Aug 26, 2007 3:57 AM
What about you?
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
------Original Message------
From: Padjen, Brian
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Sent: Aug 26, 2007 3:49 AM
Subject: RE: A poem
Fuck, Anne! I'm real close to cumming.
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brian Padjen"
Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 02:45:25
To:
Subject: RE: A poem
You really want me to cum!
I want you to cum!
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.ne
From: Brian Padjen
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject: RE: A poem
Date: Aug 26, 2007 3:41 AM
Yes. I know. It's so hot!
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
------Original Message------
From: Padjen, Brian
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Sent: Aug 26, 2007 3:35 AM
Subject: RE: A poem
Well....
Let's see....first imagine me licking your pussy. Sucking on it.
Then, sucking your breasts and squeezing your nipples.
Then imagine my cock in your mouth while I'm fingering your pussy and ass.
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brian Padjen"
Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 02:32:46
To:
Subject: RE: A poem
Yea. I came fast, too! Surprised me and the evil Dr. Nardil.
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brian Padjen"
Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 02:30:31
To:
Subject: RE: A poem
Bad in a good way, Anne.
Don't stop.
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60201
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
From: Brian Padjen
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject: RE: Blackberry Sex
Date: Aug 26, 2007 4:04 AM
Gee-zusss kee-riste all mitey!
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brian Padjen"
Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 03:03:00
To:"Anne Levine"
Subject: Blackberry Sex
If I put two fingers in your pussy, and rub your g-spot, and lick on your
pussy,
Maybe..
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
From: Brian Padjen
To: Anne Levine
Subject: Fuck me...
Date: Aug 26, 2007 3:39 AM
I’m kissing your neck and rubbing your clit.
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
From: Brian Padjen
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject: RE: A poem
Date: Aug 26, 2007 4:09 AM
I love you more.
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
-----Original Message-----
From: Anne Levine [mailto:anne.levine@earthlink.net]
Sent: Sunday, August 26, 2007 2:58 AM
To: Padjen, Brian
Subject: Re: A poem
I love you
Anne Levine
www.fightlam.org
Sent via BlackBerry from EarthLink Wireless.
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brian Padjen"
Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 03:07:11
To:
Subject: RE: A poem
That's a plan.
Talk tomorrow? About the show?
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
-----Original Message-----
From: Anne Levine [mailto:anne.levine@earthlink.net]
Sent: Sunday, August 26, 2007 2:56 AM
To: Padjen, Brian
Subject: Re: A poem
Go to sleep now and dream about the limitless Us.
Anne Levine
www.fightlam.org
Sent via BlackBerry from EarthLink Wireless.
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brian Padjen"
Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 03:04:17
To:
Subject: RE: A poem
That's sweet.
Not too many pills, now. When I get there, we will play a lot...and find if
there are any limits at all.
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brian Padjen"
Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 02:59:44
To:
Subject: RE: A poem
I love you, Anne!
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brian Padjen"
Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 02:45:25
To:
Subject: RE: A poem
You really want me to cum!
I want you to cum!
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brian Padjen"
Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 02:42:30
To:
Subject: RE: A poem
Wow! I want that! You're making me rub my cock.
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
From: Brian Padjen
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject: RE: How's Sunday Night?
Date: Aug 26, 2007 2:44 AM
Quite possibly that was the most perfect thing I needed to hear right now.
After a lo-o-o-o-o-ng discussion with Kath about, of all things, the
negativity I exude, she has enlightened me to the power of positive thinking
- i.e. The Secret:
Decide what you want;
Imagine it vividly;
Act on your desires by constructing a goal book;
Convert your ideas into concrete realities.
OK, this doesn't work for most children in Cambodia, and it hasn't worked
for Iraq, but, hey, it works for some people.
"Let the universe bring to you what you visualize."
She made me promise not to make fun of this on the show. I made that
promise. I even visualized it.
Anyway, she's not a kook, but she emphasizes that I exude negativity. I
think she's correct. I reminded her that if I draw negativity to me, it
doesn't help that negativity is brought to me either.
OK, so I've decided that what I want is to work in Massachusetts making
enough money to move the family over. This simplifies everything else. It
reduces your financial burden - something that bothers me every day. It
allows your family to conduct their own affairs without consideration of me,
as it should be.
And I've decided I want to do more with the radio show and other interests
such as poetry - readings, publishing, etc. I might even find a book in me,
but let's not get greedy.
And I've decided that I want to be near you and love you and have you in my life.
And I've decided that truly, all said and done, I have been negative and I
do dwell on the negative, and I need to stop it, but will need some help. I
don't know what form this help takes, but certainly the beginning is
expressing what help I need - or, at least, visualizing that help.
Now, some of this is tongue-in-cheek. But most of it is dead serious.
Let's put a great show together!
Visualize...
Brian Padjen
7 Hickory Lane
Algonquin, Illinois 60102
847-458-0407
bpadjen@comcast.net
-----Original Message-----
From: Anne Levine [mailto:anne.levine@earthlink.net]
Sent: Saturday, August 25, 2007 8:13 PM
To: Padjen, Brian
Subject: Re: How's Sunday Night?
Apollo 13 is on. Can't wait to do that show. I hate doing Monday without
you. I'm dreading it really. You are the perfect drug, and I want you ...
------Original Message------
These are text messages to my phone that I forwarded to my email. They were written
In July except for a couple from November.
From: 6462794997@messaging.sprintpcs.com [Add to Address Book]
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject:
Date: Jul 8, 2007 9:42 PM
Fwd: Well, anne, i am sn sorry fo breaking your trust. Please give the chance to
win your trust again.
From: 6462794997@messaging.sprintpcs.com [Add to Address Book]
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject:
Date: Jul 8, 2007 9:43 PM
Fwd: I will wait for you at the post office. Look for that guy who looks very sheepish.
If i don't see you, i will understand
From: 6462794997@messaging.sprintpcs.com [Add to Address Book]
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject:
Date: Jan 2, 2008 3:51 AM
Fwd: Yes! I want to fuck you!
From: 6462794997@messaging.sprintpcs.com [Add to Address Book]
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject:
Date: Jan 2, 2008 3:52 AM
Fwd: That is irrelevant to your hotness.
From: 6462794997@messaging.sprintpcs.com [Add to Address Book]
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject:
Date: Jan 2, 2008 3:51 AM
Fwd: I want you
From: 6462794997@messaging.sprintpcs.com [Add to Address Book]
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject:
Date: Jan 2, 2008 3:44 AM
Fwd: I want to fuck your mouth and pussy and grind the wand into your pussy and
make you scream.
From: 6462794997@messaging.sprintpcs.com [Add to Address Book]
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject:
Date: Jan 2, 2008 3:37 AM
Fwd: Try to sleep. Love u 2.
From: 6462794997@messaging.sprintpcs.com [Add to Address Book]
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject:
Date: Jan 2, 2008 3:53 AM
Fwd: Bring paper and pen, food, and ynur forgiving smile. But take your time-take
your time, and remember that i would f wait for you for all
eternities.
From: 6462794997@messaging.sprintpcs.com [Add to Address Book]
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject:
Date: Jan 2, 2008 3:55 AM
Fwd: I'm sorry. I love you. I want you to know how much i want your respect.
The porn was my idiotic of trying to solve my erectile
Dysfunction.
From: 6462794997@messaging.sprintpcs.com [Add to Address Book]
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject:
Date: Jan 2, 2008 3:39 AM
Fwd: I need you.
From: 6462794997@messaging.sprintpcs.com [Add to Address Book]
To: anne.levine@earthlink.net
Subject:
Date: Jan 2, 2008 3:42 AM
Fwd: Mmm fuck me my cock is so hard
Brian claims he wrote these two poems for me 8 years ago
They are in his manuscript:
The First Spring
In the morning of our first Spring
We scratched a patch of dirt with sticks,
Sketched the arrangement of stone,
Planned the colors of our garden.
Without hoe or spade,
Just sprinkles of water
And supplications to the sun,
We made an earth of dust.
Observe the transgressions of the sun,
The tattered professors counseled,
The seduction of heat and light
Sheds the thought of twilight.
Tend to the antithetic for which you pray;
Study both dark and light.
But we parceled the evening between us,
Left to each each one's lot to tend,
And to each lot, nocturnal vermin
To root and burrow in our careless plot.
Who watched that night?
What vigilance whooshed its sticks
At the vegetative rustle?
The seeds we planted have sprouted.
Emerging Images
You scattered the pieces across the table,
Searched for edges, assembled the frame.
Quietly, I stole a center piece,
Concealed it in my pocket,
Waited for you to discover
The breach within the puzzle,
And in discovery,
Remember the agent of the imperfect image--
Perhaps search for the thief.
Time rummaged on:
Seagulls over the ocean?
Wolves in their dens?
Flowers in a garden?
Something white...
Through my days and years
I carried the imaginings
Of what I could not identify:
The wing tip of a bird?
The tooth of a wolf?
The water bead on the stem of a leaf?
Something natural...
Wherever geometry shaped itself,
Whoever flashed a color of the form,
I supposed the mystery of the image.
Peripheral blurs intercepted my vision,
Formed prosaic shapes:
Scarf, flower, shadowed trees, etc.
Faithful of remembrance,
To keep a selection of you to myself
Or a mélange of me within your search,
Could the worn edges of one of a thousand
Preserve the desire to sustain the vision you knew,
One shape shy, dampened by a wish for the whole?
new stanza
You who knew me more in absence,
Who traced the contours of my theft,
Mapped the waters of the irresolute island,
The corollary double,
The final fit.
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